- You can slice someone’s throat and still love them.
- The word “need” can only also mean “could easily live without but do kinda want.”
- The word “humane” can mean literally anything you want it to.
- It’s okay to call people out for harmful behaviour unless that behaviour involves bacon.
- Plants definitely feel pain and lawns scream when you mow them.
- Crop workers are exploited but slaughterhouse workers definitely aren’t. No exploitation here, no sir.
- Meat is the only food that contains protein.
- “Found the vegan” is still funny and original the millionth time.
- Before humans came along, cows were just wandering around with massive udders praying for someone to invent industrialised agriculture.
- Steak is cheaper than beans, rice, pasta and canned vegetables.
- While 99% of all meat comes from factory farms, no one eats that meat.
- Everyone only buys local, organic, humane, Dalai Lama approved meat.
- Everyone has an uncle who owns a farm straight out of a 1950′s Americana magazine.
- Everyone has a degree in nutrition and evolutionary biology.
- Everyone knows that one guy who went vegan and almost died.
- Everyone is free to talk about their identity, beliefs and interests without being shamed for them. Unless they’re vegan. Vegans can fuck off.